BOB THE BULKER
"Cardio? I think you mean lifting weights faster."
THE PHILOSOPHY OF THE PUMP
THE SACRED MEAL
- 🐔 Chicken Breast (Dry, for the purity of protein)
- 🥦 Broccoli (Steamed, no salt, for the vitamins of the earth)
- 🍚 Plain Rice (Water only, for the glycogen replenishment)
HYDRATION?
- 💧 Water is for plants and cutting phases.
- 💪 True hydration comes from a perfectly mixed whey shake.
- 🚀 Pre-workout is the nectar of the lifting gods. It's not a drink, it's a ritual.
THE MINDSET
If the bar ain't bendin', you're just pretendin'. The iron is the only truth. It never lies, it never cheats. 200lbs is always 200lbs. It's you who gets stronger.
THE BULKING BIBLE: A MANIFESTO
The 6-Day PPL Ascension Protocol
- Barbell Bench Press: 4x5-8
- Overhead Press: 3x8-12
- Incline DB Press: 3x8-12
- Lateral Raises: 3x12-15
- Tricep Pushdowns: 3x12-15
- Deadlifts: 3x5
- Pull-Ups: 3xAMRAP
- Bent-Over Rows: 4x8-12
- Face Pulls: 3x15-20
- Bicep Curls: 3x12-15
- Barbell Squats: 4x5-8
- Romanian DL: 3x8-12
- Leg Press: 3x10-15
- Leg Curls: 3x12-15
- Calf Raises: 4x15-20
Fueling The Machine: Nutrition & Recovery
Calorie Surplus is KING: You can't build a castle without bricks. You can't build muscle without a surplus. Aim for 300-500 calories above your maintenance. Track everything. No excuses.
Protein, The God Macro: Consume 1g of protein per pound of bodyweight. This is non-negotiable. Sources: Lean meats, eggs, whey, casein. Your muscles are screaming for it.
Carbs are Your Fuel: Don't fear carbs. They are your energy source for brutal workouts. Focus on complex carbs like oats, brown rice, and sweet potatoes.
Sleep is Your Superpower: You don't grow in the gym. You grow when you rest. 7-9 hours of quality sleep is mandatory for muscle repair and hormone production. This is where the magic happens.
SEEKING A GURU? HIRE BOB
Tired of being average? Ready to ascend to a higher plane of physical existence? Bob's legendary one-on-one coaching program has one slot left. This is your chance to be forged in the fires of the iron temple by the master himself.
THE REVELATION
"HA! You thought the secret was a trainer? The secret is YOU! You don't need my help, you need to BULK! The path is simple: Get back in the gym, drink your protein, and lift heavy things until they feel light. The only guru you need is the reflection in the mirror. Now go make some gains!"
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